I suck at the notion of ‘keeping in touch’. I can go days, or weeks without talking to or texting someone. I can think about them and often do, many times throughout the day. I’ll check social media, because my small fishpond of life is somehow pretty much all gathered there. (Well, not *all*, but a good majority)
But to most people, this is neglectful, and shows a lack of concern. I’ve lost people I really cared about, respected, and looked up to so much. People I thought it had a singular connection with, only to find out that what I considered special, they saw as something insignificant, that I only spoke to them about when it involved that one thing.
(Ex.: one person who takes phenomenal photographs, traveled around as a truck driver years ago..everywhere he went, he’d photograph landscapes. Gallery quality work. I had a lot of hero worship for this guy, you could say. He mattered to me, and photography was a love we shared, something I considered special between the two of us because we were really close. Until one day he turned on me and blasted me, saying I was selfish because I only contacted him when I wanted to talk to him about photography, and any other time I had no use for him. And that was NOT true at all. He was angry that I didn’t text him, call him, blow up his email or phone. I kept up with his Facebook, his website, his photos because that’s what I could relate to. It wasn’t enough for him. He had expectations of friendship and couldn’t understand why I didn’t meet them, as an Aspie.)
But there ARE a scant few people in my life who do understand this about me. They seem to just know, even if I only comment on their pics, instagram Facebook, or texts, that I am always still caring for them. They know if ever they called me in need I would do everything possible to help, even if it’s just a breathing body on the other end of a phone line. I believe if I ever called them, they would do the same.
No words can adequately express how grateful I am for these people. They know that it’s not a matter of how often you speak. They’re the roots in my life. I cherish each one of them, and in rare moments like this when I’m at peace enough to sit and write it all out, I can say it.
Thank you. I love you.