So kiddo had an incident this morning with another student. Her principal called me because BB wasn’t speaking to give her side of the event and she wanted me to see if I could get BB to talk. She couldn’t. She was in shutdown mode. Once I got her on the phone, I walked her through taking a few deep breaths, asking her yes or no questions, and deciphered what really happened.
It turns out the boy who pushed BB down once before has begun retaliating because he blames her for ‘getting him in trouble’. What rot. He didn’t push her again. No this time the little jerk was sneaky about it, following her super close and stepping on her heel deliberately. So when BB pushed him away, on video it looked like she just did it without cause. Super passive aggressive, petty crap.
The very first question I asked her was, “Are you OKAY?” And I heard that deep, shuddering, tension releasing exhale. She was still pretty emotionally labile (unable to control her crying), but you could literally hear her trying to find the words to come out. Lots of convulsive swallowing. I waited and was silent, letting her have the time to speak. This was on her timetable, not mine.
Once she could speak, I asked her what happened. I asked for details. Who was the boy, had she had any altercation with him before, did she hear him say sorry like he claimed? Once those easy yes or no questions were out of the way, she could speak a little more easily. I had her bring the principal back in, and had her repeat what she had just told me. I had to interrupt the principal a couple of times to get her to let BB have the time she needed to get the words out.
She assured bb that she wasn’t in any trouble, because once she knew it was the same boy who had assaulted her already, that put a very different light on the incident.
This time she defended herself just like I and her dad taught her to do, but it’s caused her enough anxiety and distress, I ended up having to bring her home anyway. She just couldn’t calm down within 5 or 10 minutes. She did try to go back to class but wasn’t able to resume.
The crash that follows something like that is equable to an adrenaline rush and subsequent crash of fatigue, after.
The body has a physical response to stress, whether that is physical, mental, or emotional. It happens when they’re 5, 15 or 40, to varying degrees. A lot of the time, people don’t register consciously that this takes place, usually only after we experience it ourselves, and rarely in the moment when it happens to someone around us.
She’s taking a nap, and that should help her rebalance.