10 reasons why you should and shouldn’t ask PDAers to do something

“Asking is a choice – if it’s a task that needs to be done then asking is the wrong thing to do. Asking implies that there’s a choice to not do it, and PDAers are just as likely to refuse as accept. If you then complain or try to force the issue then you will be setting yourself up for a fight. Only ask a PDAer to do something if you are fully willing to accept their ‘no’, otherwise, find a different way of communicating your need for the task to be done. And don’t do what I saw someone on Facebook do recently, and pretend that giving the choice of doing the task or accepting a punishment is an actual choice, it’s not, it’s just a very polite way of threatening someone.”

That last line tho… “Wording is everything.”


Riko's blog: PDA and more.

There are many reasons behind asking someone to do something, often need and delegation of duties are main factors, but when it comes to asking someone who has unique difficulties and a difference of neurology, it can be difficult to figure out the pros and cons. Demand avoidance means no matter what you ask, it is going to be difficult, but that doesn’ mean we shouldn’t ever be asked for fear of triggering avoidance. So what are the pros and cons exactly? Well, I’ve laid out 10 of them to help you figure it out. I’ve kept the pros till last because I like to end on a positive.

5 reasons why you shouldn’t ask a PDAer to do something:

  1. Demand avoidance – asking a PDAer to do something, anything, will trigger demand avoidance. This leads to stress and anxiety amongst other things, and just generally makes our lives that…

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