Autism Acceptance

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Looking 4 ‘new friends’

So there’s this site, no I’m not naming it. If you know it, SHUT YER YAP. It’s not Tinder or MeetMe  (MEATme), it’s “supposed” to be for people who are actually looking for dating, or relationships, whatever.

Anyway….

Bruh is married, didn’t want to admit it and hemmed/hawed for weeks until i finally got him cornered and he had to say it….and I’ve been about as polite as I can be…

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When I loved myself enough

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This has, through the years, been credited to Charlie Chaplin. It is however, a translated text from Kim Mcmillen’s book entitled “When I loved myself enough.” Chaplin did recite it on his 70th birthday; perhaps that is why it is so often attributed to him.
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“As I Began to Love Myself”  

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

Keep in touch

I suck at the notion of ‘keeping in touch’. I can go days, or weeks without talking to or texting someone. I can think about them and often do, many times throughout the day. I’ll check social media, because my small fishpond of life is somehow pretty much all gathered there. (Well, not *all*, but a good majority)

But to most people, this is neglectful, and shows a lack of concern. I’ve lost people I really cared about, respected, and looked up to so much. People I thought it had a singular connection with, only to find out that what I considered special, they saw as something insignificant, that I only spoke to them about when it involved that one thing.

(Ex.: one person who takes phenomenal photographs, traveled around as a truck driver years ago..everywhere he went, he’d photograph landscapes. Gallery quality work. I had a lot of hero worship for this guy, you could say. He mattered to me, and photography was a love we shared, something I considered special between the two of us because we were really close. Until one day he turned on me and blasted me, saying I was selfish because I only contacted him when I wanted to talk to him about photography, and any other time I had no use for him. And that was NOT true at all. He was angry that I didn’t text him, call him, blow up his email or phone. I kept up with his Facebook, his website, his photos because that’s what I could relate to. It wasn’t enough for him. He had expectations of friendship and couldn’t understand why I didn’t meet them, as an Aspie.)

But there ARE a scant few people in my life who do understand this about me. They seem to just know, even if I only comment on their pics, instagram Facebook, or texts, that I am always still caring for them. They know if ever they called me in need I would do everything possible to help, even if it’s just a breathing body on the other end of a phone line. I believe if I ever called them, they would do the same.

No words can adequately express how grateful I am for these people. They know that it’s not a matter of how often you speak. They’re the roots in my life. I cherish each one of them, and in rare moments like this when I’m at peace enough to sit and write it all out, I can say it.

Thank you. I love you.

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Why Do You Love Me? | From the Soul of Gyandeva

http://www.tomgrassowriter.com/2013/06/27/why-do-you-love-me/

Ugly crying in 3..2..1..

I didn’t ask to love you. I didn’t need to love you, but I love you just the same. My arms aren’t filled unless you’re in them, and my thirst is not quenched unless you are the drink.

I love you because I feel comfort in being out of my comfort zone with you by my side. I love you because every cell of my body responds to your touch, to your look, to the way you move and the way you sound. I love you because something, somewhere, directed me to you. 

KING: White privilege in America means no consequences – NY Daily News

http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/king-white-privilege-america-means-no-consequences-article-1.2577635?cid=bitly

Here’s my comment:

More people need to speak up. I hear from many people “I’m just sick of being smothered, shut up about it already. We get it okay?”

No. Don’t shut up. Shutting up is the last thing anyone needs to do. That makes it easier to forget and pretend doesn’t exist. Seeing something not right and speaking up against it to defend someone else or even yourself is not browbeating, it’s doing the right thing. It’s a choice to take a hard road over the quieter, easier, complacent path of comfortable, padded silk blinders.

I’ll take being uncomfortable if it means helping someone else have a shot at a better life.

I’m an adult with ASD, raising a little girl also with ASD. I’m one of those women who automatically move away from physical proximity, but it’s not black men, it’s ALL men, and ALL women. I can count on one hand the number of bodies I don’t physically shy away from at first instinct. That includes family. When the person happens to be a stranger, and just happens to be of any ethnicity, I feel an automatic guilt, because I KNOW they (understandably) will assume it’s because of their color. I don’t look autistic. There’s no way for them to know I’d react the same to anyone else.

Part of me wants to blurt out “I swear it’s not you, it really is me.” But then I feel like they’d think I was just trying to make excuses for something. Or then I feel like I shouldn’t presume to know what they might think. I’m stuck in those social situations, and feel stupid and helpless.